Are you still using cash? Yes? Well I hate to break it to you but you are a misogynistic, patriarchal human-traffic funding fascist.
Maybe it’s a recurring dream of lying in a hotel bed while £50 notes rain over your naked body, or maybe it’s the £450 pocket money you got for your 7th birthday. We all feel a sense of nostalgia when we think about paper money, but it’s days are numbered and good riddance.
I will miss spontaneously tipping waiters or throwing coins at my least favourite free-kick taker, but look how much better we are without cash. Not only are we now free from the risk of contaminating each other with dirty notes, this contactless world has also brought us closer together.
Avoiding having to come up with an excuse to a begging homeless-person (don’t worry I donate thousands to charitable causes) is just another of many personal perks. But as we move to cashless only payments, governments can finally monitor all our transactions, this will enable them to halt anti-social payments such as buying fireworks in the summer or subscriptions to The Spectator.
MisogyMoney - Cash Is Hate
Lets face it cash is used by criminals for people trafficking, it’s used at cocaine parties and cash is also used as a weapon of oppression against women in strip clubs. Whenever one makes a cash payment it is then passed along a chain where it eventually ends up on the desk of El Chapo or Dan Bilzerian.
You can no longer plead ignorance to the sobering truth about cash anymore, that’s why I refuse to speak to any of my family members that still use misogymoney. Quite simply by using cash you are facilitating crime and therefore are culpable for the oppression & trafficking of the ethnic minorities and women of Central America, Cambodia and other gap-year destinations.
So remember next time your local unbranded high-street tyre fitter says “I only accept cash”, you stare them directly in the eyes and tell them this: ‘No, I will not contribute to your people-trafficking ponzi scheme’ then immediately tweet to Cressida Dick about the hate crime that has just taken place, using the hashtag:
#CashIsHate
Article By Karen Naratif,
Karen is a former independent recreational-drug researcher & amateur critical thinker.
Using Cash Is A Hate Crime
I honestly can't even tell if this is all tongue-in-cheek. The world has become so insane it is hard to tell nowadays. Half of the crazy stuff I assume to be trolling turns out to be genuine stupidity. Obviously digitally/centrally controlled money is evil and the source of unimaginable suffering for billions of people. All the golden ages of history were so named because GOLD was the facilitator of international trade and the decentralisation of wealth. A cashless society only benefits the government and banks and hurts everyone else, just like inflation and fiat currency do in general.
I suspect this was all sarcasm and I'm preaching to the converted. No one could be dumb enough to think cashless is a good thing. Ok, maybe some are, but they likely don't have a functional IQ and can barely tie their own shoe laces, so I'm guessing you're not at that level of window-licking.... are you?
HA! I bet your family members continue use cash just so you WON’T talk to them.