It's true, I am injured and it was the Covid vaccine. Sounds like a bad thing right? Sounds like the conspiracy theorists like Sir Chris Chope MP were right all long, right?
Actually no, allow me to explain.
My injury, although debilitating and lifelong is actually very mild, statistically insignificant and extremely rare. So rare I'm considered a unicorn, but I wanted to see if there were other unicorns out there.
They proved to be extremely difficult to find, the UK have only a few hundred thousand cases to choose from. Thankfully, I managed to speak to some that were happy to discuss their story and coincidentally were all were happy to be vaccinated again.
“I'm unable to play bowls, but it's OK I can still watch it on TV“
Meet Dave, a fellow journalist and close friend. He's triple vaccinated and was injured with each jab. “The first injury was a severe pain in my arm that never went, a pain so bad I said ‘never again’. After the second Jab I could barely see. I've recently had the booster and have now been advised by my doctor that because of my mild injuries, I'm unable to play bowls again, but it's OK he says, I can still watch it on TV“. Dave was upbeat and told me he'll be queuing up for his 4th as soon as he comes eligible “it's safe and effective, I'll do anything to keep myself out of harms way”.
“like I'm on auto pilot”
My next unicorn is Amanda, a 38 year old sex worker. “my injury is so rare, it can only happen every few hundred thousand jabs, those next in line are now completely safe because of my sacrifice”. When asked if her injury affects her work she said “I have involuntary spasms in my right arm which make some tasks feel like I'm on auto pilot“.
“makes my work easier”
My last unicorn club member is 19 year old aspiring live art model Mikel. “I'm paralysed from the waste down” he jovially explained. I enquired about his career prospects, “I guess it makes my work easier especially in certain embarrassing situations“ he assured me.
I'm so proud to be a part of such a large community of rare statistically insignificant reactionaries. The situation has an almost perfect beauty to it, the more we vaccinate the more unicorns there will be, which will lead to ever more positive stories to reinforce yet more people to be vaccinated!
Without these vaccines and the frequent rare injuries, you wouldn’t be reading such an uplifting and inspiring article so a special thanks goes out to the MHRA, Pfizer, Moderna, Astrazenica and of course Gods very own charity; The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
#BLESSED
By Karen Naratif,
Karen is a hard hitting journalist and amateur critical thinker.
Can't believe people think these are real
Love your sardonic and sarcastic wit, Zac! I share a bit of that; must be the 37.5% Celt DNA asserting itself in otherwise-German-American bloodstream . . .